


Pink Polka Dots & Yellow Flowers

by TypedUpMusings



Category: Alias (TV)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-06
Updated: 2020-09-06
Packaged: 2021-03-06 14:40:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 11,454
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26320552
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TypedUpMusings/pseuds/TypedUpMusings
Summary: A trilogy & an epilogue, post S2-18. The significance of a coffee mug...Originally published on fanfiction.net in December 2013 as Bookworm0509. This was my first ever posted fanfic ~ hope it aged well.
Relationships: Sydney Bristow/Michael Vaughn
Comments: 14
Kudos: 6





	1. Latte & Summer Dress

_**Sydney's POV** _

After we finally took down the Alliance, our lives were still frantic trying to apprehend Sloane and to keep his crazed pursuit of everything Rambaldi at bay.

We did not have many lazy weekends that Vaughn and I could share all to ourselves. The rare few we had, we took full advantage of … in every sense of the word … if you know what I mean.

It was a Saturday after all the frenzies surrounding my mother's disappearance.  
As we were still trying to gather intel on Sloane and my mother's whereabouts and what they planned to do with the file they retrieved from the bio-genetic company, there was no urgent mission to go on and we caught a much needed break.

I was still reeling from the thought of losing Vaughn in Sark's hands.

When I saw him put a bullet through Vaughn, my Vaughn, as I had gotten accustomed to regard, I felt like my bottom just gave out. All I could think of was to get to him as soon as possible. As I flew down the flights of stairs, I felt the same dread I had when he was so sick with the virus. Seeing him slumped in pain gasping for air, I saw my hands moving quickly to pull off his layers and check his status, but my mind was blank and I wasn't really breathing. My senses only returned when I saw the bullet tucked safely on top of his vest and I immediately let out the breath I had been holding for what seemed like eternity. I put my forehead against his and I felt his breath on me. I kept asking if he was okay but that was more for me to know I was okay because he told me so. I helped him up, put his arm around my shoulder and never wanted to let go. Had it not been the adrenaline coursing through my body, I would be sobbing non-stop right there and then. I was so scared. Losing Vaughn could NEVER be an option.

The explosion, my mother's schemes and the tedious debrief unnerved me.

I was barely holding on when Vaughn took me back to my apartment.

I sobbed.

He held me and told me how much he loved me – for the first time.

We had always known how deep our feelings were for one another – we had perfected our non-verbal communication skills during my double agent days. So there was no urgency in verbalizing what had been felt and deepened since we got together.

Sark's bullet helped Vaughn realize he did not want to leave those words unsaid.

Though we hardly spent any days or nights apart after his first night in my apartment, I needed him close to know that he was real, that he was indeed okay.

We made love through the night to chase away the awful fear of what could have happened, and we finally fell into blissful slumber near daybreak.

When we stirred again, it was already mid-morning – a Saturday morning and we didn't have to be at the JTF.

We laid in bed, unhurried.

We made small talks and exchanged banters, just enjoying each other's company.  
I had never been so in love – not with Noah, not with Danny. I cared for them deeply but not without reservation. With Vaughn, I could be completely vulnerable and completely safe at the same time.

We only got out of the house when our stomachs began to growl and we went for a leisurely brunch.

Vaughn was bent on spoiling me on my first weekend off in what felt like my lifetime. But my wish was simple and we found ourselves strolling along the ocean for the afternoon. He told me more of his childhood stories and I recounted more of my mischief during boarding school years.

No treats for Sydney Bristow was ever complete without a stop at Starbucks to grab my favourite latte.

We stopped by a rather large Starbucks and the merchandise aisle grabbed my attention. I spotted a tall ceramic mug with pink polka dots and yellow flowers on it.

"Syd … you made a beeline to a coffee mug?" Vaughn was curious about my fascination.

"Pink polka dots with yellow flowers … just like my favourite summer dress. I wore that dress on my 5th birthday ... and that was one of the last happy memories I had in my childhood before everything unravelled." I said with my full-dimpled smile.

He insisted on buying the mug for me and I was more than touched by his simple indulgence – he loved me… he loved all of me … my shady childhood, my hectic present et al.

I couldn't help but wrap my arms around his neck and kissed him with every ounce of love I felt.

When we broke apart, that's when I saw her. Alice. With a friend. Lining up for the cashier.

Honestly, I hadn't even thought about Alice since Vaughn told me they were over, amongst the ruins of SD-6.

The only other time Alice was mentioned was when Vaughn explained to me, despite their apparent reunion, things had never gotten back to being sexual. He used the excuse of wanting to take things slow while he knew in his heart how hypocritical it would have been to make "love" to someone he no longer loved. She was his necessary defence to stop him from losing utter control over his ever growing feelings for me. He needed to make that clear to me after our first couple nights together. As much as I said the past didn't matter, I had no idea how much it meant to me to actually hear him say that.

Now that Alice was only 20 feet away, I wasn't sure what to do exactly.

"Vaughn, don't turn around…"I said quietly as I kept my arms around his neck. He gave me a puzzled look as I continued …"Alice … two o'clock to your right." I paused for a moment before blurting out my request, "If we go up to say hi, I can't be Rita … us, our relationship cannot be a lie. If you don't want that, we probably still have time to slip away without being made".

Vaughn's reaction surprised me, he looked at me like he had just struck gold, and he replied with the widest smile I had seen on him, "Syd, we've got nothing to hide … you have no idea how proud I'm to be able to hold your hand in public, put my arm around your waist and let every one know that SYDNEY BRISTOW, the most amazing woman in the world, IS MY GIRLFRIEND!" he finished his tease by kissing me sweetly and letting his lips linger … maybe a bit too long as I could sense Alice glaring our way from the corner of my eye.

"I don't know how much luckier you want to get after last night … you probably should save all this sweet talking for another day…" I was never good at getting compliment.

"Is it working?" Vaughn continued teasing while grabbing the pink polka dots and yellow flowers coffee mug from the shelf.

"More than you think …"

"Good ..." he grinned.

When we slowly turned around to be on our way, we met Alice's gaze head on. She had a smile plastered on her face but I could see the flickering emotions in her eyes. After all, it had only been six months since the table was turned.

Holding the coffee mug in one hand, Vaughn laced his fingers through mine with the other hand as we slowly walked toward Alice and her friend.

"Michael, hi … it's so great to see you … it's been a while … and ummm Rita, right? It's good to see you too" Alice said so politely while her friend eyed me from head to toe.

"Hi, Alice … it's nice seeing you again …" Vaughn's voice conveyed his sincerity, "actually, let me introduce you … Sydney, you've met Alice and this is Evelyn …" Vaughn nodded towards the woman unknown to me. I could see Alice trying to conceal her confusion upon hearing Vaughn call me 'Sydney'.

"Alice, I'm so sorry … my name is really Sydney, not Rita…" I stopped for a second to gauge her reaction … "When we met, I was working on a highly classified case and was under orders not to disclose my true identity to anyone not related to the case." I tried my best to be truthful.

"I understand … Michael never talked much about his work. I got it that there was a lot he was not allowed to share … so what brought you to the area? Evelyn and I were just doing a bit of shopping close by."

"Syd and I were taking a walk down by the beach ... we're gonna grab a latte and be on our way to run some more errands."

"It's really good to see you Michael, you look happier than I've ever seen you." Alice said poignantly.

"I am happy." Vaughn looked my way and replied without hesitation.

"Nice meeting you Evelyn. Good to see you again Alice" I finished the exchange of pleasantries.

"Bye, Michael."

"Bye, Alice. Bye, Evelyn" Vaughn wrapped his arm around my shoulder and led me toward the order line as Alice and Evelyn went opposite direction to find a place to sit down. I couldn't help but wonder how many times Vaughn and my name would be mentioned when Alice and Evelyn chatted over coffee. I surely was glad we got out of a potentially awkward situation rather comfortably.

"Vaughn, thank you …" I said wearing a foolish grin.

"What for?"

"For letting me tell the truth … and …" I hesitated for a moment before continuing. "…selfishly, I'm glad to be the one leaving with you this time." I still remember the pit in my stomach when I watched him leave with Alice in the restaurant not so long ago.

"Syd, Alice is a nice girl and she really deserves someone who will worship the ground she walks on. I never felt that way about her. Not since the beginning. I was foolish to think that going back to her was the right thing to do when her father died. I should have known it would eventually hurt her more when I had nothing other than my shoulder to offer. Breaking up and telling her how I really felt about our relationship was actually the right thing to do ... she did not need me wasting any more of her time…" before he could finish, my hand was on his face and I kissed him deeply.

I understood the meaning behind his words … all the sleepless nights he spent worrying about me, all the sacrifices he made, all the times he acted putting my interest ahead of his own … all those he did BEFORE we ever got together … he did because he cared so much about me … he did because he worshipped the grounds I walked on.

After we finally broke apart and ordered my latte, we left the café with our fingers intertwined and our souls linked. I knew that even with all the uncertainties in my upside down world, I could be certain about one thing – pink polka dots and yellow flowers might be my favourite childhood memory, but with Vaughn by my side, I get to feel and experience different favourite moments every day ….

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed the ride! This piece is special to me because:  
> 1) I strongly believed Vaughn would have said "I love you" to Sydney before her missing years eventhough that was never shown on the show. Theirs is never a casual relationship - after Sark's bullet is likely when it could have happened in my mind  
> 2) I can't help but secretly hope that Sydney would have a chance to gloat since they had to make her bump into Vaughn and Alice at the restaurant
> 
> Let me know what you think


	2. The Best & The Worst

_**Alice's POV** _

"So you were right ... Michael got a new girlfriend alright ..." Evelyn trailed off as she sipped her coffee.

"He never really told me ... I just knew ... So which store do you want to hit next?" I wanted to change the topic and thankfully my question successfully prompted Evelyn to switch her focus from Michael and his new girlfriend to her ideas of dresses she wanted to try on for her upcoming college reunion. My eyes slowly drifted to the couple standing in line.

I couldn't make out the content of their conversation from afar but their interaction looked so tender. Michael's green eyes sparkled as he spoke softly to her. She fixed her gaze on him ... and before he finished ... she put her hand on his face and kissed him ... deeply.

The cashier interrupted and they broke apart ... and I could never forget the expression on Michael's face. He flashed a shy smile apologetically to the cashier and ordered her latte like a well memorized book. He then handed the cashier the coffee mug he had been holding the whole time. She smiled sweetly at him and he looked back at her with such reverence and admiration that I knew she meant the world to him.

Michael NEVER looked at me that way – EVER. And I swallowed a lump in my throat.

When I looked up again, Michael and Sydney were walking out hand-in-hand with a small paper bag. They were talking and smiling and were completely oblivious. They never looked back.

"... I think a sleek silver cocktail dress would be simple and elegant. Are you ready to get outta here?" I finally turned my attention back to my friend Evelyn.

"Sure." I nodded mechanically and followed Evelyn out the coffee shop.

Running into Michael, with Sydney, was both the best and the worst thing in my life.

It was the best thing because at long last I could put away any faint hope I held for a third reunion with Michael. I never brought out the Michael Vaughn I saw with my own eyes today. And I realized how truthful he was when he ended things.

~ Flashback

Michael called me to meet him for breakfast ... something he hadn't done since our early dating days. He was already waiting when the waiter led me to the table at the far corner of the patio. There was something different about Michael today.

"Hi," Michael greeted, "please bring her a grapefruit juice. Thank you" sending the waiter on his way.

"Alice, sorry to make you come out so early..."

"Michael, you never have to apologize for wanting to see me." I teased.

"But I do." His tone was serious and I realized this was not meant to be an exchange of banter.

"Alice, what I'm about to tell you – I should've told you a long time ago." And my heart began to sink.

"We've a long history together and you're about the nicest person I've ever met. I know you care about me, about us, a great deal. But the truth is, Alice, I don't think we could ever go further than really good friends. I've actually known this for a while now. When we broke up last time, I told you I didn't think things were going to work out and we'd be better off to be just friends."

"I know I complained about you spending an insane amount of time at work. Of course I'd still like to see you more, like any other girlfriends would, but I've decided to accept that about you because I understand how important your job is to you. And Michael, when we got back together, you said we could try and work things out..." I couldn't understand what the problem really was. I had never been any less in love with Michael Vaughn than the day he asked me out.

"Alice, when your father passed away, I really wanted to be there for you, to help make things better for you. And to be perfectly honest, spending time with you brings a calmness that makes some of the crazy things at work more bearable. At the same time, I also know that my feelings, how I see our relationship, had not changed. And that's why I need to apologize to you. I let this drag on for too long. I'll only be wasting your time and you really don't deserve that." His voice, his choice of words, conveyed such determination and clarity – that wasn't a hasty decision on his part.

Thankfully, my grapefruit juice arrived. I took a long sip to regain my composure before I spoke again.

"So this is goodbye?" My pride prevented me from begging even though I would almost do anything to remain Michael's girlfriend.

"Yes, this is goodbye. I'm sorry about how things turned out. You'll find someone that deserves your devotion, your wit, your good heart ... someone who deserves you." He reached out and squeezed my hand.

"What about you Michael?"

"I'll be alright ... all else fails, I'll always have my work." He tried to end things on a lighter note.

I forced a smile and bid my final goodbye, "That you do ... Take care of yourself, Michael."

"Goodbye, Alice."

I stood up and slowly walked away from Michael, from the man I had hoped one day would be my husband. I bit my lips to hold back tears so I could get to my car before breaking down.

Michael and I would never come to fruition, despite my wishful thinking. Had I been honest to myself, the writing had been on the wall and this shouldn't come as a shock.

I remembered being envious of my girlfriends when they talked about how passionate their relationships were. Michael was never a romantic. He had always been pleasant, kind, generous ... more than a gentleman. It might have been shallow of me but I thought his physical attraction, his good looks, could more than compensate what's lacking in passion. Any woman should be proud to have Michael on her arm – and I was no different. I enjoyed being asked by my friends how I scored such a gorgeous boyfriend. I was too smitten to realize my feelings were mostly not reciprocal.

Work became a bigger and bigger part of his life. About a year and a half ago, I began to notice Michael growing more and more distant. He might have been with me physically but he was miles away. My patience started to thin and we argued and fought over his obsession with work. Not long before Thanksgiving last year, Michael told me things weren't going to work out and we parted ways.

I was down about the break-up but soon got pre-occupied with caring for my father when his illness took a worse turn. When he finally passed away, I felt so alone and desperate without the two dearest men in my life. I reached out to Michael for support – even though I wasn't sure what to expect. To my surprise, Michael was more than understanding and supportive. He saw me through my grief and took such good care of me that I began to hope again for a future with him.

Once again, I chose to ignore the warning signs. Despite reclaiming the title of Michael's girlfriend, we had not gotten back to being physical. Michael said he wanted to take things slow and I complied. Though he often went out of his way to cheer me up, he kept most of his thoughts and feelings to himself. I actually found it more difficult to read Michael the second time around. It was as if his heart belonged to something or someone else

He had me so scared when he spent almost a week in hospital with a rare virus he caught. After he recovered, I was ready to give myself completely to him. Michael, on the contrary, seemed to have retrieved even further. We saw each other off and on but Michael became more quiet each time. I did most of the talking and Michael would nod and smile politely. I was worried that sooner or later, I would run out of things to chat about.

When our dates got even fewer and further apart, I thought it was because his best friend Weiss just got discharged from his long stay at the hospital and Michael needed to spend most of his time outside of work to hang out with him. After a little while, even that reasoning looked unlikely.

So finally this morning, he told me what I should have known – his heart never belonged to me.

~ End Flashback

For months after our break-up, I often wondered what went wrong between Michael and me. I got my answers today. Michael and I were never meant to be. We did not share the kind of connection he so obviously had with Sydney. He looked alive, content, completely in love. He was attentive and affectionate. There wasn't anything about her that he wasn't interested in. The most amazing part was they looked effortless together. They were so well-matched that anyone could see they belonged together.

As for Sydney, or Rita, I actually was not surprised. I met "Rita" for the first time in the hospital when Michael was sick. They wouldn't let me see him until after his discharge and Rita was the only person I talked to outside of the hospital staff. I didn't know how long Michael and Rita had worked together, and I was too emotional at the time, but in retrospect, I should have noticed she looked too worried sick to be merely Michael's colleague.

When we ran into Rita a short time later at the bar with a male companion, there was a thick uneasiness in the air I couldn't put my fingers on. I didn't think much of it after we left but I remembered how distracted Michael seemed the rest of the night.

At Starbucks today, one could easily tell she was as smitten with Michael as he was with her. As a woman, I had no doubt she was intensely in love just by the way she looked at him. The kisses, the whispers ... he was everything to her.

Was I jealous of Sydney? You bet. She had what I always wished for with Michael, the way he was around her. I did not remember Michael and I were ever like that, not for the lack of trying. We were together for a long time – he probably really liked me but he never fell in love with me. I almost felt like a failure ... and that made it the worst thing to see them so in love.

All that said, for the first time in a long time, I got clarity. When Michael and I were together, I knew something was missing but I didn't know what it was. After Michael and I broke up, I had no idea what else to look for in a partner since I thought Michael was pretty perfect already. At last, in the coffee shop, Michael and Sydney showed me that when true love was found, everything would be right – it'd be obvious, without a doubt, no need to question. I just had to wait for my turn...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've often wondered about Alice's perspective but never got the satisfaction of knowing from the show. You may also want to know that I never liked Alice (I think they cast a woman much too old for the role ... she looked more like Vaughn's aunt if you ask me ) and there was absolutely no chemistry between Vaughn and her (I guess that might be done on purpose to contrast how fit SV are for each other). However, I did want to stay true to the storyline so I tried my very best to be impartial.
> 
> Thanks for indulging me... Let me know if you liked this piece.


	3. Nothing Unsaid

_**Vaughn's POV** _

When Alice commented in the coffee shop earlier "... Michael, you look happier than I've ever seen you", I couldn't help but replied truthfully, "I am happy."

"Happy" was not nearly enough to describe how I felt since the fall of the Alliance.

I was renewed.

Alive.

Made whole by this amazing woman I now had the privilege to hold in my arms.

Most men would not consider being pursued by an obsessed lunatic, manipulated by a murderous traitor, shot at by a ruthless schemer, to be their everyday dream.

But I was not most men – I was Sydney Bristow's man.

To finally be able to love and take care of Sydney the way only she deserved was worth everything that had and would ever happen to me.

Loving Sydney Anne Bristow was a mind-blowing experience. It was the easiest and the most intense at the same time. It was not like anything I had ever experienced - and I knew nothing else in my life would ever come close.

I used to think I had a fairly decent life. I grew up to be my mother's joy. I did well in my studies and wowed girls with my athletic abilities. I followed the footsteps of my father and joined the CIA. I was passionate about serving my country and playing hockey. I had my share of girlfriends but chose to settle with a nice girl that made me feel safe and normal despite the ugly realities I dealt with every day at the agency.

Little did I know how insignificant all that became on October 1st – the day Sydney walked into the CIA and into my life almost two years ago.

There was something about Sydney that attracted me right away. And she had not stopped to amaze me since.

Her purity in the midst of evil and deception.

Her capacity to love instead of hate.

Her bravery and determination.

Her wit.

Her intelligence.

Her strength – both physical and mental.

Her fragility.

Her fear.

And above all – her beauty.

I was no longer driven only by loyalty to my country. My work had become everything to me because it had to do with fighting evil alongside Sydney while trying my best to keep her safe. There was a fire inside me – an incessant desire to protect her.

It was obvious to everyone how hard and fast I was falling for Sydney. I, on the other hand, denied it until I could no longer lie to myself. Partly, I knew it was against protocol – though that was the least of my problem. More so, I had doubt about Sydney wanting a relationship with me.

Danny meant so much to her it pained me to see the hurt in her eyes whenever he was mentioned. Then I realized how shattered her world must have been when she fell for a scum like Noah Hicks a second time. I hated that my support and "friendship" were not enough for her. Her circumstances weighed so heavily on her that a promise by someone to take care of her, to sweep her away from the misery, appeared so attractive. No matter what his intentions were, Noah Hicks was pure bad news. I didn't blame him for wanting Sydney – who wouldn't? I just didn't think he had the heart to really know her, to truly see her – he just wanted to have her, the last conquest to complete his trophy case.

Seeing the effect of Noah Hick's betrayal on Sydney made me double my resolve to reach out to her. I wanted so badly to be her answer, her shelter. I needed to help her end the deception and duplicity that might one day drown her. Without even realizing it, I put Sydney ahead of everything. When Weiss called me on it – pointing out how far I had crossed the line I swore to never cross, I had to admit I did not know how to be Sydney's handler without being personal.

Truth be told, anything to do with Sydney had been and would always be personal to me, since the beginning. I would put my career and my life on the line for her with no second thought. But it also scared me to finally see how my utter concern for Sydney could cloud my judgement and put her in danger. So I tried to be "professional" instead of personal before her mission to Paris to retrieve the Rambaldi page from Khasinau's club.

That plan lasted about a minute. When she returned all broken up about Will Tippin uncovering her double agent identity and getting worried sick about his safety, I just couldn't hold back any longer. I wanted her to be able to trust me when she was at her lowest.

I didn't blame her for hiding the rescue plan from me after Will got kidnapped by Sark. But I was truly upset with Weiss when his interference pushed Sydney into further retreat from the agency. Within hours, she seemed to have disappeared from the confine of L.A. I almost went crazy when I couldn't find her at any of the favourite spots she told me about. Then I remembered the train station – "normal people go to their normal jobs" – and my prayers were answered as she sat safely behind me. I volunteered to go on her rescue mission – that sure beat waiting helplessly at home as I was so accustomed to doing. I secretly vowed to be on her side no matter how much it would cost me – if that meant putting myself out there, so be it.

As the events unfolded after Taipei, I was at war with myself. I noticed the first hint of Sydney caring about me – beyond the relationship between a handler and his asset. When she found me in Cape Ferrat, I could see all the flickering emotions in her eyes and I was this close to planting the forbidden kiss on her lips before we parted ways.

If I were not conflicted enough about being in love with my double agent, adding her mother, the woman who murdered my father, into the mix was my undoing. As I dealt unsuccessfully with my own emotions, I could only imagine how Sydney must have felt. I held her and wiped away her tears as she trembled in my arms after her first meeting with Irina Derevko in the prison cell. I couldn't and I wouldn't let her face the turmoil alone.

I swore to be her ally, her strength, her constant amidst all the confusion. But I could sense Sydney's apprehension in totally confiding in me when she knew how much my father's death hurt me. Despite all that, our bond grew. We shared a trust that was stronger than betrayal and murder. We were both as relentless in protecting the other person.

It became apparent to me that the deeper I felt for Sydney, the harder it was to face her mother. When I could no longer wrap my mind around my inner battles between the love for Sydney and the hatred for her mother, I took the easy way out and got back together with Alice to force some form of "normalcy". It happened after a chance reunion and a moment of weakness – I was so tired of all the complications in my life I gave up on the hope that I could one day be with Sydney and it would all be worth it.

I realized my mistake soon enough when my need to protect Sydney went into overdrive after finding out about her father's deception in Madagascar. If I would so willingly go up against Jack Bristow, "normalcy" was certainly not what I craved. As Sydney fell apart after she discovered the truth about being the "Project Christmas" prototype, I again found myself holding and soothing a trembling and scared Sydney. I knew at that moment I had become her shelter from the storm – the person she turned to at her lowest – much like that night at the pier. And I wouldn't trade that for anything else I thought I could gain from keeping Sydney at a distance – emotional or physical.

Then came the virus. It nearly killed me but it also gave me new life. I pleaded so hard with God not to let me die – simply because I wanted a chance to share a life with Sydney, to love her with my whole being. I saw the depth of Sydney's feelings for me with all the words she left unsaid in that hospital room before she went to retrieve the antidote. When I found out what she did to save my life, I had a renewed resolve to continue our fight against Sloane and the Alliance so Syd and I could be more than friends.

As much as I hated having any conversations with Irina, standing in front of her cell trying to argue why I hid my feelings from Sydney helped me see how invalid my reasoning had been. Deep down, I had always wanted Syd to know that I was committed to being with her forever no matter how conflicted I felt during the course of everyday life.

In an odd way, I was profoundly touched when Syd appeared so timid and passive when I brought up her meeting with Alice at the hospital. I knew I had to end things with Alice when Sydney would not even let me explain. I would be such a hypocrite since I was more certain now than ever that I could not be with any other women. And if I had to be really honest, I was more afraid of hurting Sydney than being selfish with Alice.

But her father passed away and Alice was a complete wreck. I thought I was being noble when I didn't have the heart to break up with her. Instead I stayed by her side to see her through her grief. But I also knew that was beginning to drive a rift between Syd and me. When Alice and I bumped into Sydney and Will at the bar, I felt a strange combination of shame and jealousy. Ashamed to return Syd's devotion with my wishy-washy "togetherness" with Alice when I knew full well who was really centre in my life. Jealous of Will's apparent closeness with Syd when I clearly had no right to feel that way.

So I distanced myself from Alice and hoped that would send a subtle message over time – I didn't think my dream to be with Sydney could come true anytime soon. When Will gave me the "Sydney cares about you and I want you to respect that" speech, I was both annoyed and delighted. Delighted because I now had proof that I was not crazy – Sydney did care about me – I was not imagining things out of wishful thinking. Annoyed because Will had no idea how sacred the connection Syd and I shared was to me – I had always more than respected it – I guarded it with my life, treasured it with my heart, nurtured it my soul, and longed for it with my whole being. It was an insult for anyone to think I would ever take anything to do with Sydney lightly.

Then Sydney herself ran out of patience – she slashed out at me for keeping Ariana Kane's suspicion on her father at SD-6 from her. As frustrating as that fight was, it was also my wake-up call. The more I could not predict how long it would take us to defeat the Alliance, the more important it would be for me to make my intentions clear with Sydney. No matter how well I thought we had mastered our non-verbal communication, I should not leave matters of the heart to assumption. When Weiss , during our mission in Paris, talked about how his near-death gun-shot wound changed his perspective, all I could think of was how desperately I wanted the chance to let Sydney know about my feelings when I almost died from the virus. I did what every good Boy Scout wouldn't – I went with my impulse and asked her out. Though the dinner turned out to be a disaster tactically, one thing became crystal clear to me – both Sydney and I wanted more out of our relationship. The desire alone might not have had been nearly enough – but with that recognition, I would fight till the end so I could take the woman of my dream out for a proper dinner without fear.

When I finally gathered enough courage to tell Sydney exactly how I felt in the "flirting corner" – using Weiss' term – I was relieved to see how much she also wanted the confirmation. Life would certainly get more complicated now that our feelings for each other were out in the open, but it would also drive us to do even better work to build a future for us.

To our amazement, the next set of events unfolded at turbo speed – Server 47, the code, the raid and then the end of the Alliance. They all came together quicker than anyone could have anticipated. As Sydney and I walked towards each other in the rubble of SD-6, my mind had only the single thought of our freedom to finally be together. She was all that I cared about when you stripped everything down to the core. I wanted to be there to bind up her wounds, to nurse her hurt and to admire her beauty till we were both old and grey. I kissed her hungrily for what felt like an eternity, putting aside the overwhelming reality of the Alliance's downfall and its consequence.

Cold reality hit when the passion of the night subsided. My subtle messages to part with Alice now required an immediate halt. I asked Alice to meet me for an early breakfast and told her the long overdue truth – that we were over a long time ago and we could never be any more than good friends. I needed my conscience cleared before seeing Sydney again. And judging from her reaction when I broke the news, Syd wanted us to have a clean start as much as I did.

Those were the defining moments of my life. Ever since she walked into the CIA with her flaming red hair, my life had been defined by Sydney milestones. With the end of the Alliance, we finally turned a new chapter and began what we could only dream about.

We acted like lovesick teenagers – holding hands, touching lips, stealing glances whenever we got a chance. When you were deprived of expressing feelings as intense as those shared by Syd and I, the desire was insatiable once the restrictions were lifted.

Our lives did not get easier after the Alliance fell. Arvin Sloane was on the loose and even more crazed. Irina Derevko was still a touchy subject. And the kind of evil we had to deal with on a daily basis did not diminish. But the real difference was – I knew I was no longer alone. All I needed was to go back to Sydney and I found all the answers I needed in her. Instead of sitting at Base Ops worrying about her safety, I became her partner, both on and off the field. We went on almost every mission together and we were close to seamless as a team. To be able to silently hold her on our return flight after a gruelling mission was priceless. I wouldn't trade what I had now for an "easier" life.

Though we didn't make any verbal commitment, we were equally gung-ho about our relationship. Syd put up with my resentment and doubts towards her mother and I learned to let her in on things that I had always kept to myself.

If I had any inhibitions left towards building a life with Sydney, they dissipated when she risked everything professional and personal to come to my defence during the Counter-Intelligence investigation. We had only been "officially" together for three months – but Sydney had enough faith in me, in us, that she packed a bag in the trunk before hunting me down. She was willing to drop everything so she could stay with me in case I needed to be on the run for a while. I realized at that moment that keeping any part of myself from her, even if it were in the name of protecting her feelings, would end up hurting her. I vowed to be completely honest with Sydney from that point on.

The adversities we faced made us a stronger couple. But the pure joy we shared in each other's company was beyond anything imaginable and highly addictive. Aside from a few missions that required Syd to go on her own (the idea of which I hated even more now than before), we hardly spent any moments apart. It was as if we were trying to make up for all the time we lost pining. Even watching TV became a whole new experience. Sydney took a genuine interest in hockey games and I found myself enjoying chick flicks. We spent hours telling each other our childhood stories, teenage rebellions and bad fashion choices. I never discovered how much fun there was in exchange of banters and harmless teasing.

And then of course there was the sex. Making love to Sydney Anne Bristow was nearly a spiritual experience. I remembered being close to speechless the first night we were together. I told her how beautiful she was – but it was such an understatement. Her face looked almost angelic with minimal make-up and her eyes sparkled with love. Sydney could give any man a heart attack with her sexy outfits and perfect make-up, as she so often used to her advantage on missions. But I was more intoxicated with the Sydney only I got to appreciate without all her disguises. When our bodies touched, I felt like my whole being was on fire – burning with so much passion, desire and emotion – and I knew at that moment I loved this woman more than life itself. She was, had been and would always be my life. My soul was no longer yearning and I was home at last – everything I ever longed for was found in her eyes.

"Syd, I don't know what I had done to deserve you …" I trailed off with a lump developing in my throat. I closed my eyes and buried my head between her breasts as this was all too much to take in.

"You are the reason I am still here today … I wouldn't have made it without you, Vaughn." Sydney whispered as she quietly kissed away the tears that escaped from my eyes. "I don't ever want to lose you ... I can't ..." her voice filled with vulnerability. The sad tale of Emma and James had obviously brought painful memory back for Sydney.

"You will always have me, Sydney ... I'm not going anywhere." I reassured her by caressing her toned body with kisses and we continued to make love through the night.

When Sark put a bullet in my chest two days ago, the sharp pain on impact paled in comparison to the fear of death taking me away from Sydney forever. I pleaded again with God to let me live – I wanted to take Sydney to Trattoria de Nardi for dinner, to meet my mother, to play mini-golf and to the little chapel on the hill to say our "I do"s. I couldn't stand the thought of leaving her to face the evil of Sloane, the betrayal of a mother she had idolized and the emotional deficiency of a father who did not know how to relate. I felt like I was drifting away when I heard Sydney's plea...

"Vaughn! Vaughn! Come on, come on ..." Her hands worked fast to pull away my layers. I began to get my wind back as I felt her tender kiss on my forehead. I didn't have time to linger but I was overjoyed inside when I realized my life was spared with the bullet stuck securely on my vest.

"You okay?" Sydney sounded shaky and overcome

"Yeah, I'm okay" I quickly answered to ease her worries but my chest felt like it was going to explode.

"Come on, honey, come on ..." I was instantly soothed by those simple yet endearing words. My prayers were again answered as Sydney helped me up and I saw the glitter of tears threatening to spill in her eyes.

After Brucker Biotech blew up right behind us and I cradled Sydney in my arms from flying debris, I realized we escaped death yet another time. No matter how much I thought Syd and I understand each other, there were things that I would regret having left unsaid had I died. I decided at that moment I needed to let Sydney know she was the one I spent my whole life waiting for. And in our crazy lives, she was the one that made me sane. And I would spend the rest of my life showing her in each and every way I could, that I would be hers every moment and forever.

When we finally got home after the long flight back from Stuttgart and the tedious debrief at the JTF to figure out Derevko and Sloane's next move, Sydney was on the verge of collapse. When I drew her a bath and sat sharing the hot water with her in comforting silence of each other's company, she began to sob uncontrollably. All I could do was to hold her tight while rubbing the small of her back to try and sooth the overwhelming emotions she kept hidden the last twenty hours. All along I thought she was unnerved by her mother's contradicting intentions. What she said when she was calm enough to speak again moved me to the core and I could not be more in love with this amazing woman.

"Vaughn ... if I never get to understand why my mom betrayed me and if I never have a chance to put Sloane away for all that he's done, I'd be ok as long as I have you with me. Please, promise me I'm not going to lose you ..." Sydney trailed off as tears welled once again in her eyes and she turned to burrow her face in my chest, now marked with a bruise from Sark's bullet.

"The only thing that really frightens me is if I ever lose you ... so please promise me ..." She started to shake and I held her even tighter.

"Syd, you'll never lose me, I promise ... whether in life or in death. I know things are beyond crazy these days but you're the one that kept me sane all this time."

"Sydney, I love you. I've loved you for so long and I love you more than life itself. If I have to spend the rest of my life showing you how much I'm in love with you, that'll be my dream come true. So no, I'm not going anywhere. You'll always have me for as long as you want me."

I had never imagined such intense feelings with saying "I love you" to a woman but then again I was never truly in love until I met Sydney.

Sydney returned my declaration with the most passionate kiss and I was in heaven. I pulled her out of the cooling water, dried her dripping hair, and wrapped my body around her in bed to keep her warm.

We made love the whole night – tenderly, hungrily, playfully – further exploring each other's body, trying new positions and techniques to pleasure each other. There was no better way to chase away the fear plaguing our minds than cherishing the time we had to share. Kendall had ordered the team to gather every possible intel before making our next move. There was no urgent mission for Syd and I to go on and we caught a much needed break. We took full advantage of having the next day off.

Our love making was more than amazing. The woman lying beside me was angelic, beyond beautiful. Sydney had this incredible way about her – I could feel how much she loved me with her every touch, every kiss, every whisper. Whenever I saw my love for her reflected back to me in her eyes, it was almost more than I could take. It was as if she was touching every place of my heart with her every move.

"Syd," I murmured her name near dawn, knowing she wasn't asleep though her eyes were closed.

"mmmh..." she responded with a faint content smile.

"Have I told you how amazing you're?"

"Yes, but that was a long time ago." We both burst into laughter.

"I'm an incredibly lucky guy. I've never been this close to anyone and I didn't think I needed to. That all changed when I met you. I wanted to know everything about you and I want to tell you everything about me. It was so strange."

"Then, I spent so many nights awake when you were on missions, thinking I would never have the chance to share a life with you."

"Now that you've made my life a fairy tale, it was even more wonderful than I thought, and it just keeps getting better."

"Syd, I am so in love with you ... only you ..." I was hardly audible as I found myself overcome with emotions once again.

"Me too ... you have no idea ..." Sydney replied simply as she batted a drop of tears down her cheek.

We finally fell into peaceful slumber with Sydney snugly spooned under me.

It was late morning when we stirred again. Waking up next to Sydney was so deeply satisfying and so addictive that I would never want to do without.

Knowing how hard the last few days, no wait … the last few months, really … the last few years, had been for Sydney, I was determined to spoil her on our day off. I had never been good at denying Sydney Bristow anyway.

But Syd wanted the simplest things in life – a leisurely brunch, a stroll along the beach and her favourite latte at the end.

I was mesmerized by her childlike innocence when she got so excited about a mug with pink polka dots and yellow flowers. After I learned their significance, I knew there was no way we would leave Starbucks without that mug in our hands. I wanted to fill the void since her last happy memory at age five – we would build a life where she could once again experience joy.

And for Sydney, that joy involved authenticity. While we didn't expect to run into Alice at the cafe, our encounter left me both enlightened and touched. Syd's first response was to meet Alice again as Sydney, not Rita. Now that we were "officially" a couple, she would not allow any part of our relationship to be a lie – unlike most other relationships she had all her life. Sydney thought I would be embarrassed by her request; I, on the contrary, was so honoured. I couldn't hide my happiness from hearing her say how important our relationship was to her. Instead of thinking about the potential awkwardness with Alice, all I felt was utter adoration toward the woman I now had the privilege to regard as my girlfriend, my lover, my soul mate, my world.

I introduced Sydney to Alice and her friend Evelyn. Being with Sydney and seeing Alice again made me realize how wrong I had been and how right everything was right now. And I needed Syd to understand that.

"Syd, Alice is a nice girl and she really deserves someone who will worship the ground she walks on. I never felt that way about her. Not since the beginning. I was foolish to think that going back to her was the right thing to do when her father died. I should have known it would eventually hurt her more when I had nothing other than my shoulder to offer. Breaking up and telling her how I really felt about our relationship was actually the right thing to do ... she did not need me wasting any more of her time…"

I sincerely hoped Alice would find that special someone soon because when she did, it would be beyond words, without a doubt.

Tonight, at this moment, I am in awe watching Sydney sleep peacefully in my arms … in awe with how perfect Sydney and I are for each other … in awe with the knowledge that I would never find anyone else. Amidst chaos and evil, I treasure every perfect moment. And a song I heard few years back keeps playing in my head…

_Lying here with you_   
_Listening to the rain_   
_Smiling just to see the smile upon your face_   
_These are the moments I thank God that I'm alive_   
_These are the moments I'll remember all my life_   
_I found all I've waited for_   
_And I could not ask for more_

_Looking in your eyes_   
_Seeing all I need_   
_Everything you are is everything to me_   
_These are the moments_   
_I know heaven must exist_   
_These are the moments I know all I need is this_   
_I have all I've waited for_   
_And I could not ask for more_

_I could not ask for more than this time together_   
_I could not ask for more than this time with you_   
_Every prayer has been answered_   
_Every dream I have's come true_   
_And right here in this moment is right where I'm meant to be_   
_Here with you here with me_

And there is nothing on earth that could make me happier…

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Vaughn's POV is almost twice as long as the other the first two chapters. I often thought the show did not give us enough of Vaughn's perspective. For my own satisfaction, I attempted to have Vaughn fill in the gaps, providing what I think to be plausible explanation to some of his action.
> 
> Hope you enjoy this Vaughnerific indulgence...


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I started the epilogue thinking it may be more complete to have Syd's POV on their relationship added, since I ended up writing so much of Vaughn's POV. It somehow got away from me and became a longer than expected piece.
> 
> Hope you enjoy this "Bonus Feature" to the ficlet trilogy!

_**~ Epilogue ~** _

_**Sydney's POV** _

I was awaken by early morning rain drops hitting against my windows. Now I lay in bed wondering why I couldn't go back to sleep. Having the entire weekend off must have been too much of a luxury for my body to handle.

Speaking of luxury … the fine form next to me is certainly one luxury I have gotten used to and never want to live without.

He sleeps … I remember just not so long ago he pulled me into a corner and told me when I was on operations he couldn't sleep at night – something my mother instinctively observed before either of us had enough courage to admit our true feelings. And then shortly after he spent his first night in my bed, he told me I had a calming effect on him because when he was with me he got everything he ever wanted. I melted. And I couldn't remember him spending any nights not in my bed whenever we are both in town. I am seriously considering cleaning out one of my dresser drawers so he can leave some essentials at my place.

I love how much time we get to spend together these days. Mind you … it's all amidst chasing down Sloane and fighting unspeakable evil instead of frolicking on a Caribbean island. Nonetheless it's beyond amazing to have him as my partner, both on and off the field.

We are effortless together on missions – as if we can read each other's mind all the time. I don't think Kendall paired us up repeatedly out of respect for our romantic feelings. If we are one of CIA's best respectively, we are paramount as a team. I like how protective he is of me. The fact that he knows what I am capable of and yet he finds way to take care of everything before I even ask is very endearing. Danny used to like indulging me as well but I often wondered how he would react had he known I could take down guys twice his size rather easily. Vaughn had joked about me kicking his ass in combat but that never stopped him from checking and rechecking my mission specs so I wouldn't have to fight guys twice my size.

That thought makes me tired and I am surprised I haven't drifted back to sleep … especially after another night of "activities".

I'm not ashamed to admit I'm now addicted to those "activities". Making love to Michael Vaughn in real life is far more magnificent than in my fantasies. I can see deep desire in his eyes, taste intense longing on his lips and tongue, and feel indescribable pleasure where his fingers and hands touch. I've never known sex so tender, so passionate, so playful.

And his shoulders ... I find those strong shoulders incredibly sexy. I love nuzzling his left shoulder when we sleep at night. This man smells so good. I remember taking in his scent when he slipped his beloved Kings jersey on me at one of the games. That topped the Zamboni and I turned his favourite jersey into his favourite lingerie that night. That jersey now calls my closet home.

His shoulders served me well even before we were together. He'd gather me in his arms and put my head on his shoulder to shield me from the burden of those devastating situations threatening to eat me alive – finding out my mother was a murderous KGB spy, realizing Noah was actually Ice Man, revealing to Will about being a double agent, walking out of my mother's cell the first time, discovering my father's scheme to program me, and after almost losing him to the horrible virus. Knowing he had become my ultimate refuge and ally, I craved those shoulders whenever I felt I had lost all my bearing.

So when he said yesterday, "Syd, Alice is a nice girl ... I should have known it would eventually hurt her more when I had nothing other than my shoulder to offer. Breaking up and telling her how I really felt about our relationship was actually the right thing to do ..." I felt a little possessive about that shoulder.

Maybe that was the problem.

Much more than just his shoulders, I have been feeling possessive about Vaughn for a long time. I was a mess when we first met but I was not blind. With all my spy training, I could spot a cute guy from a mile. So when he got assigned to be my handler, I was too bitter about life to believe my good luck. I didn't think he could be handsome, smart, professional, and genuinely cared about me all the same time. I did not understand why he would give a damn about a woman with so much baggage. I was waiting for the other shoe to drop and I tried very hard to be difficult with him. I thought if things did not work out, I could easily blame it on his inability to "handle" me. But he more than proved me wrong. He was truly concerned for me when I least expected it. I finally accepted the fact that he was sent by whoever watching over me up there to be my guardian angel, and I grew a sense of entitlement towards Michael Vaughn.

He encouraged that with his preferential treatment. He told me to call him whenever I needed someone to talk to, day or night. He'd drop everything to meet me whenever I made contact. He researched all my missions and oversaw every detail to cover my tracks. And the odd times I went to the CIA for meeting, I noticed the type of glances Vaughn got from women in the office and I overheard them referring to me as "the woman Agent Vaughn dotes on." The hint of jealousy in their tone made me smile inside.

We danced around the subject of Alice as our mutual feelings for each other grew. I knew it was wrong but I felt both happy and a bit guilty when I found out they had broken up just couple months after Vaughn and I started working together. I might be jumping to conclusion but my instinct told me I had something to do with that turn of events. And I couldn't help but fell even harder and faster emotionally for the one man I knew intellectually I couldn't be with. Then things got even crazier with the discovery of my mother's true identity and Rambaldi's "Prophecy". My despair drove me to find comfort in reclaiming the romance I thought I once lost with Noah Hicks, instead of hoping for a relationship I longed to have with Michael Vaughn. If that was how I returned his devotion, why should I be surprised to find out he had gotten back with Alice?

Even though Vaughn and I talked about almost everything when we met in the warehouse – my changing feelings for my mom after her "return", my hatred and intolerance toward Arvin Sloane, my on-again-off-again relationship with my dad, Francie's restaurant, Will's struggle, LA Kings, mini-golf – I never once allowed him to discuss Alice at length. I did not let him "explain" because I was afraid to find out how much the truth would hurt. I wasn't unaware of his affection for me – I was just not prepared to hear him say I wasn't worth all the heartache and insanity despite his fondness. That would have had been my doom because heartaches and insanity seemed to be the only constants in my life – something I couldn't deny or escape. I figured it would be easier to pretend he was never really interested than to pine for the dream that slipped away.

After the Counterintelligence investigation, Vaughn apologized for having kept his reservation about my mother to himself. I never blamed him when I found out why he did what he did. I knew it was one of the hardest things for him but he promised to open up to me – about my mom – and I loved him even more for wanting to do that. He told me how lost he felt during those confusing months when he battled himself daily between his hatred for my mother and his unwavering feeling for me. He went for the illusion of normalcy he thought he could have with Alice but he regretted it almost immediately after – when he knew in his heart that he never wanted to be with any other women since the day we met. And for that reason, he had not had sex with Alice after they got back together. There, I had it – the explanation I refused to hear – and it was almost funny had the emotions not been so raw in appreciation of the kind of anguish we put each other through just because we cared deeply. I cried – not because I was upset about his reunion with Alice but because I remembered how equally torn and hopeless I felt. I hurt to know I put him through that pain. He held me and whispered in my ear,

"Syd, I'd give anything and everything just to be with you ... you have no idea how much you mean to me and how happy you've made me. Whatever happened, or will happen ... it doesn't matter, it's all worth it ... YOU are worth it ..."

At that moment, I realized there was no turning back for me.

HE IS IT.

The love of my life, my anchor, my soulmate.

The one and only.

Maybe my heart has known that for quite some time. Maybe that was the reason for the conflicting emotions I experienced the past eighteen months.

Guilt.

When Danny was killed, I thought I would do anything if I could save him. I felt responsible for his death. I felt guilty about who I was and what I did. Had I not told him the truth about my involvement with SD-6, he would still be alive. I was outraged and the injustice consumed me. I couldn't do anything to bring him back and yet I felt I had to do everything I could to avenge his murder. Danny was an amazing man and I loved everything about him. But I did not love us – it took me a year to realize – Danny was never with the real me. He was with the dolled up, squeaky clean grad student version of me. While I had utmost admiration for Danny, our souls never connected.

Grace.

I didn't know its meaning until I met Michael Vaughn. He showered me with grace. He never stopped giving and he never asked for anything in return. I was undeserving ... undeserving of his concern, his friendship, his devotion. I brought him nothing but trouble. And for that, he brought me smile, he brought me his shoulder to cry on and he brought me hope. When he got that horrendous virus, I was determined to stop at nothing to save him. After all, it only made sense for me to sell my soul in order to save the person who gave me back my soul.

What price would you put on your soul?

I would not kill Sloane for having Danny killed because I refused to repay evil with evil. Yet, I didn't think twice to have Sloane killed to save Vaughn. I felt no need to argue but my father called it dead wrong when he thought my mother's manipulative influence pushed me to the dark side. It really had nothing to do with my mother. It was simple survival. Without him, I would be without my soul. I'd rather be paying my penance than being a living dead for the rest of my life.

I still thank God every time I wake up beside this man whom I would be so lost without. That is why Sark's bulletin into his chest on that staircase stopped my heart. I had come so close to losing him twice before I have no doubt losing Vaughn would mean the end of me.

Besides, being with him is a real ego-booster. Since Vaughn and I officially became a couple, I have been under the microscope of the ladies at Ops Centre – all in an effort to figure out why "Agent Vaughn" is so entranced with me. Once in a while, I would stumble upon amusing conversations blabbed unbeknownst my presence, like the one I overheard in the farthest stall of the Ladies' Room a few days ago...

"I met Agent Vaughn today ... heard so much about him at Langley. He is dreamy alright ..." giggled one fairly young sounding woman.

"Did you also hear that he's off limits?" her friend chimed in.

"I didn't notice a wedding ring ... I checked ..." and more giggles.

"You must not have met Agent Sydney Bristow? He's soooooooo into her ... it's obvious." Her friend opined.

"The SD-6 double?"

"HIS SD-6 double... you wouldn't believe the kind of hold she has on him!"

"Is she hot?"

"They look real good together ... when you see them, you know other women don't stand a chance with him. It was only a matter of time anyway ... when she was his double, every one knew she was special to him. Soon as SD-6 was gone, they had no more hurdle."

"Sounds like this Bristow girl is some woman ..." more giggles on their way out.

Sometimes I wonder if my feelings for Vaughn would be less strong if he weren't so gorgeous. I remember purposely mentioning his good looks last to prevent premature salivating when I first admitted my crush on him to Francie.

We don't just have an emotional connection – it is physical in all its glory as well! I have been finding it difficult to resist his sex appeal. I feel so horny and yet so alive! I don't seem to get enough of him – making love to him is never far from my mind and we find ways to sneak some finger brushing, hand holding and peck-on-the-lips kisses even at work. Off work, I thoroughly enjoy every bit of physical contact – casual lounging in front of a hockey game on TV, quickies on the couch, naughty showers – the possibility is endless. And my favourite pastime? Staring at him when he sleeps ... the very thing I'm doing now.

I know he will go to the ends of the earth for me but I question if I am worth the high price he pays. Wouldn't he be better off with the normalcy he can get with Alice? The answer was clear when we ran into her yesterday. Seeing Alice again obviously brought no regret. Vaughn was so at ease – about everything. And he was so proud – of me, of our relationship – no pretence, no reservation. He didn't seem to mind at all when I requested to use my real name. Not sure if Alice bought my story but that really was not my concern – it was something I had to do for me. With all the lies, half-truths, part-truths I deal with day in and day out, I hold on for dear life to the honesty Vaughn and I share. When he told me at the coffee shop he was never in love with Alice, that was all the affirmation I needed. It is time for me to start believing that there is finally something pure, something beautiful, something precious in my life – and it is real!

He is real.

We are real.

"Why are you awake already? What are you thinking?" He mumbled without opening his eyes. I have no idea how he does it but he catches me every time I treat myself to Vaughn-gazing in bed.

"The rain woke me and I couldn't go back to sleep."

"I can fix that." He rolls around and draws me into a tight embrace. He buries his face behind my neck and starts placing tender kisses around my shoulder while drawing circles on the small of my back. I have a feeling I am going to be grateful for the luxury of having another day off after all ...

~ The End ~


End file.
